trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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