While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
