My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
