i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The struggles of a small town man whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize