Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
