Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
