By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
