Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
