Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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