Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
