As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
