the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
