So drunk its hurt
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
