It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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