Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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