Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
