left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
