someone get that fucking seahorse.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
