Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I need to sanitize my soul.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
