I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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