I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
