why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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