Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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