I'm so fucking centered right now
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
