I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
