Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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