why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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