Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
