She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize