we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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