Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
3 2 1 whiskey
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
