im holly from the hills drunk
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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