One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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