Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
