I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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