its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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