3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
