is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
