Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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