sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
