Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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