Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
