i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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