sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
