I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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