My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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