Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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