No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My feet surprised me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
