it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
