what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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