I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
