Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
