The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
