Midget sex pt 2 tonight
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
