shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
