So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
