Dual....:-)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
