Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
