he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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